How Can I Be Down? Page 6

  “See, that’s what I like about you. Most brothas would jump at the opportunity right now. You’re different, Kiley. I hope Jada knows what kind of man she’s got. If she doesn’t, there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s going to lose you.”

  “Maybe, but, uh, I hope she realizes what she’s got, too.”

  Candi and I sat at the table talking for a while. After I told her about my dream, she told me that’s exactly how she’d imagined it and wanted to show me right then and there. I fought hard not to give into her and was relieved when she said she’d better get going.

  When I walked her to the door, she laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “This is where I’m supposed to drop my coat and let you massage my ass.”

  “No doubt, that would be nice but . . .” I laughed.

  She didn’t drop her coat but she did grab my neck and stuck her tongue deeply down my throat. I felt the effects of it and backed away. I searched in her mysterious eyes that showed motives. Motives for what, I didn’t know. “Maybe some other time, okay?”

  “Sure, Kiley.” She wiped her lipstick off my lips and opened the door. “Bye,” she said, waving and heading down the hallway.

  I stood there and watched; it was so hard to let something that fine get away, but I had to.

  When she stepped onto the elevator, I closed the door and sat up on the bed thinking about her. Maybe she was interested in money? Sex? Possibly. By the look of things it was obvious to her that I was the man in control of things. Being with Donovan wasn’t going to get her the things she wanted. So, maybe it was time for me to watch my back even more. Women like Candi had a way of working that pussy on a nigga, making him lose focus. I couldn’t let that happen to me. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I had been living in a shell for the past five years, in fear of everything and everybody around me. Truly afraid to trust anyone. Afraid to explore the Lou like I wanted to. And all with good reason, of course. I really never knew if or when my time was coming. Thing was, I could feel it. Every minute of the day, I couldn’t help but think about when all of this would be over.

  CHAPTER 5

  I pulled into the garage early Friday afternoon. Donovan’s car wasn’t out front so I knew he was gone, but the BMW was still in the garage. Didn’t mean much, ’cause Quincy and Kareem always had other means of transportation. But when I came through the back door, Kareem was there with his head down on the kitchen table, snoring. I smacked him on the back of his head to wake him. He quickly pulled his gun out from down inside his pants and aimed.

  “Boy, don’t fuck with me like that.” He smiled, laying his gun on the table.

  “So, I see I’m not the only paranoid fool around here.”

  “Hey, you the one who taught me don’t leave home without it.”

  “But you at home. You gotta walk around the house with it, too?”

  Kareem picked the gun up and kissed it. “This my baby right here. She go wherever I go.”

  I smiled. “Is Jada here?”

  “Naw, man. She went somewhere with Donovan.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked, as she always spoke ill of Donovan.

  “Yeah. They left about an hour or so ago.”

  “She say where they were going?”

  “Nope, and I didn’t ask.”

  I turned and headed down the hallway.

  “Ay, Kiley?” Kareem whispered.

  I turned around. “What’s up?”

  “Did you get a chance to see Candi?”

  I walked back toward the kitchen and stood in the doorway. “Yeah, I saw her.”

  “Did you . . . you know? Tap that ass,” Kareem said, smiling.

  I shook my head. “Nope. Wasn’t in the mood.”

  He frowned. “And a bitch like that couldn’t put you in the mood, I guess?”

  “Kareem, when you gon’ grow up? I said I just wasn’t in the mood.”

  “G’on, man. Get the hell out of my face. You really starting to disappoint me, nigga.”

  “Sorry to hear that. If my not fucking a lot of women disappoints you, your fucking too many of them disappoints me.” I left the kitchen and headed upstairs.

  In my room, I sat down in the chair and took off my Timberlands. I pulled my cream sweater over my head and unbuttoned my well-pressed jeans. As I stood there with my shirt off, rummaging through the mail, I heard the front door slam. Then I heard Jada and Donovan talking as they were coming up the steps. When she walked into the room, she looked surprised to see me.

  Donovan stood, looking at me while Jada strutted by me with a bag from McDonald’s. “Hey, stranger,” he said. “Welcome back.”

  I nodded and continued looking at the mail. “Glad to be back.”

  “You hungry?” He lifted up a bag from McDonald’s. “Got two Quarter Pounders with Cheese in here.”

  “Naw, knock yourself out. But thanks.”

  “Anytime.” He patted his hand against the wall and left.

  Jada sat on the bed, turned the TV on, and pulled her food out of the bag. I reached over to the door, closed it, and sat down in the chair. I stretched my legs up on the bed and crossed my feet.

  “So, I guess you’re still not talking to me, huh?” I asked, looking at her eye that was still slightly swollen.

  She picked up a French fry and put it in her mouth. “Did you have fun with your other woman?”

  “Jada, I wasn’t with no other woman. I’ve been at a hotel since Sunday, alone.”

  “Yeah, right. It don’t matter anyway. Whoever she is, she can have your abusive ass.”

  I reached into my back pocket, pulled the receipt out from the Marriott, and laid it on the bed. “There’s proof if you need it. Why? I don’t know when I haven’t cheated on you with anybody. Maybe you’re feeling guilty about something.”

  “I’m already hip to your reverse psychology game. And I’m not going to sit here and play it with you.” She grabbed her bag of food off the bed, getting ready to walk out.

  I hopped up, snatched the bag out of her hand, and pushed her down on the bed. Seeing the fear in her eyes, I laid my body on top of her. “Why are you here, Jada? Is it the money? It’s the money, ain’t it?” I asked, holding her hands down so she wouldn’t hit me. Her eyes watered as they searched into mine. The redness in her eye from my punch just ate at me. I shook my head. “I’m not going to hit you. I just need to know why you are here when you seem so unhappy.”

  “I’m not unhappy,” she said softly.

  “Well, what’s the problem? Is it me? Am I not fucking you correctly? Am I not loving you enough? Tell me, what am I doing wrong?”

  She loosened her hands from mine and reached for my pants to pull them down. “Make love to me, Kiley. All I need is for you to make love to me.”

  I grabbed her hand to stop her. “No, Jada. All I need is some questions answered. I’m tired of the ‘fuck me, fight me’ bullshit, baby. I can’t do this with you anymore.”

  “Please,” she begged. “I promise you things will get better. And once we’re finished, I’ll answer any questions you have for me.”

  Knowing how bad I wanted to feel her, I put our conversation off until later and went to work. Sex between us was long overdue. Her insides were dripping wet and needed instant relief from me. Throughout the whole time, she was telling me how much she missed me and never wanted me to leave her again. And feeling the way I did, I never wanted to be away from her another day in my entire life.

  After we finished, she rested her head across my lap while I rubbed my hands across the baby hair on her hairline.

  She closed her eyes and smiled. “That feels so good, Kiley. And, whew, the sex was the bomb. You must not stay away that long again.”

  “My sex is always the bomb, ain’t it?”

  “Of course it is. But that time felt a little different.” She sat up and looked at me. “I’m just spoiled, baby. The reason I act the way I do is because you’ve created a
monster, and now you don’t know what to do with me.”

  As she talked to me, I couldn’t help but look at the swelling in her eye. I took her face in my hands, placing my lips lightly on her eye. “You’re not a monster. Baby, you can have anything you want. All I ask is that you not provoke me and make me hurt you like that anymore. In my eyes, you deserve to be spoiled. Just don’t take advantage of me when I’m simply just trying to make you happy.”

  She leaned forward and kissed me. “I’m happy. Happier than you will ever know.”

  Jada rested her head against my chest and I felt like a new man. My woman was talking like she had some sense and my dick was finally relieved. After we chilled in our room for a while, we showered and went upstairs to go check out some movies in the entertainment room. Jada sat on my lap and hugged me tightly around the neck while we sat in the dark watching Halloween. Shortly after, Quincy joined us; and when Donovan came up the steps with Candi, I damn near died. I was uncomfortable as hell.

  “What y’all watching?” Donovan asked, sitting down on the couch. Candi looked over at me then sat down next to Donovan.

  “Shh,” Jada said, grabbing my neck tighter. “I can’t hear.”

  “Baby, this is the latest Halloween movie,” Donovan said to Candi.

  She nodded and glanced over at me again.

  I couldn’t concentrate on the movie, so I told Jada I was going downstairs to warm up a TV dinner or something. She rose up off my lap and sat down on the couch. Before I walked out, she yelled for me to warm her one up too.

  In the downstairs kitchen, I looked in the freezer and found a chicken nugget and a Salisbury steak dinner. I put them in the microwave for Jada and me; then I heard some heavy heels on the hardwood floors. I knew they were Candi’s.

  She strolled into the kitchen with an ice bucket in her hand. “Here you go,” she said, giving it to me. “Quincy asked me to give this to you so you could put some ice in it.”

  I took it out of her hand and opened up the freezer. I stood with my pants unzipped, barely hanging onto my naked ass underneath, and I felt Candi looking down at the smooth hairs above my dick. After I gave the ice bucket back to her, I pulled my pants up and zipped them.

  “You’re too late,” she said, smiling. “I already saw what I wanted to see.”

  I shrugged. “Did you like it?”

  “Loved it.” She winked and walked out of the kitchen.

  I watched her ass, shaking my head. Damn! I thought. If only I were a dog.

  I put Jada’s and my dinners on some plates and carried them up the steps. When I got upstairs I had to walk by Candi and Donovan sitting on the couch. She looked up at me and grinned. Knowing every bit of what was going on, Quincy cleared his throat and smirked as he looked at the TV.

  Jada rolled her eyes at him then leaned over next to me. “Thanks, baby.” She puckered up for a kiss.

  I kissed her and Candi glanced over at us, then turned her head. Quincy looked at me and grinned. All this head-turning shit was making me nervous. The only two who didn’t seem to be uncomfortable were Donovan and Jada. They were seriously all into the movie.

  I was glad when the movie was finally over. Quincy quickly got up and turned on the lights, and before his mouth started running, I told Jada I was ready to go to bed. She took my hand, said good night to everybody, and we left. I got a last glimpse of Candi, but she didn’t see me because she was talking with Donovan.

  Since Jada was chilling out with her attitude, I left well enough alone. We never did have our deep conversation she promised, but I had no intentions of spoiling her good mood. I kissed her on the forehead a few times and after a few strokes up and down her back she was out like a light.

  When I heard Donovan’s footsteps pass by my room, I listened for Candi’s heels and heard them, too. Minutes later, the bed started hitting the wall. Hitting it so hard, it woke Jada up. She looked up at me, as I was still wide awake.

  “Now, that’s a damn shame. Ain’t that much fucking in the world,” Jada said, as Candi started to moan loudly. “Not only that, dick definitely ain’t that good.”

  I looked at her. “And how do you know?”

  “I mean, ain’t no man’s dick that damn good where it makes you act a fool like that.” She laid her head back down on me. “Except for yours.” She looked back up at me and smiled.

  “That’s right. Clean your shit up, baby,” I said. Jada laid her head down again and went back to sleep.

  I couldn’t sleep for nothing in the world, listening to the action going on in Donovan’s room and thinking about what Jada said. Was it really a mistake or had she slept with Donovan before? After racking my brain for a few more minutes, I decided to go find out the best way I could, and that was to view every last tape in this house. I was the only person in the house who had a key to the basement door that stayed locked. Primarily, because most of my money was kept down there, in a safe hidden behind a sliding thick wall. If there were anything out of the ordinary going on with Donovan and Jada, I’d soon know by looking at the tapes.

  I crept out of bed around four-thirty in the morning. I opened the basement door and locked it behind me. I had to move a gang of spider webs away from the code box, and when I punched in the code, the wall made a loud noise as it slid over. I unlocked the safe first, feeling paranoid about my money, but when I saw nothing had been touched, I locked it again. I brushed the dust off my black leather chair that sat in front of the six thirteen-inch monitors that viewed the house. Soon after, I got busy rewinding and watching the tapes.

  I had been in the basement for almost two hours and still nothing out of the ordinary seemed to be going down between Jada and Donovan. There were few sex scenes here and there by the fellas throughout the house but that was it. The only thing I noticed with Jada and Donovan was a few conversations alone in the kitchen. Couldn’t tell what they were saying, but she was also in the kitchen talking to Quincy and Kareem so I couldn’t make anything of it.

  As another hour went by, I started feeling as if my insecurities had gotten the best of me. But when I noticed his hand on her thigh while they were in his car one day, I stopped the tape and rewound it. I zoomed in and played it again. He rubbed her leg up and down three times, and then she turned toward him and laughed. After that, she got out of his car.

  I wasn’t really sure what to make of it but I picked it apart about five more times in my mind. Still puzzled, I continued to watch more tapes. Nothing else showed up for another hour and a half, except more laughter between the two and her coming out of his room with his laundry in a laundry basket.

  When I heard a noise coming from upstairs and looked at the second-floor monitor, I saw our bedroom door open. I hurried and locked everything up in the basement and ran upstairs.

  As soon as I shut the basement door and locked it, Jada met me on her way to the kitchen.

  “What were you doing in the basement this early in the morning?” she asked.

  I took a deep breath. “Nothing, baby. I just needed some money. Was running a li’l low.”

  “Aw. Are you hungry?”

  “A li’l bit,” I said, walking behind her into the kitchen. I sat down at the kitchen table.

  Jada opened the refrigerator and pulled out three packs of bacon. “I guess I should cook for everybody, huh? Maybe even for that loudmouth bitch in Donovan’s room. If I shove some bacon down her throat maybe the tramp will cool out.”

  “Now, that’s not nice, baby. Besides, she left anyway, didn’t she?” I said, knowing damn well Candi was still upstairs.

  “No, she’s still here. Her loud-ass giggling is what woke me up again. Donovan gon’ have to take his ass to another room. This shit is getting ridiculous.”

  “Well, would you rather have Kareem in that room instead, or Quincy? Take your pick.”

  She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “We’d definitely never get any sleep then.”

  We both laughed.

  After Jada threw do
wn on breakfast, we took our plates upstairs to eat. I grabbed a food tray and sat up in bed. Jada put her plate on the dresser and went into the bathroom.

  She pounded her fist against the wall next to Donovan’s room and laughed loudly. “Stop, Kiley. Ooo, baby, please stop!” she yelled so they could hear her. When she got more into it saying, “Fuck me. Fuck me good,” I whispered for her to stop. We laughed as she picked her plate up and got in bed with me. When my cell phone rang, I looked at it and it was Donovan’s cell phone number.

  “What up?” I said.

  “Y’all think that shit funny, don’t you?” he said.

  “What shit? I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  “That pounding on the wall bullshit. That’s what.”

  “Nigga, I was making love to my woman, if you don’t mind.”

  “Playa, who do you think you’re fooling? You the most silent fucking lovemaking nigga I know. I ain’t ever heard all that commotion over there before.”

  “And you never will because I don’t have a raggedy-ass loose headboard banging up against the wall. I got a beautiful white marble wall unit bed, and the best thing about it is the damn thing is stable. Ain’t going nowhere no matter how hard I work it.”

  Jada snatched my phone and turned it off. “That’s too much information. He don’t need to know how you work it.” She tossed the phone in the chair next to the bed.

  After Jada fed me breakfast in bed, we made love for about an hour or so and afterward I was snoring like a hog. By the time I rolled over, it was close to five o’clock in the evening. I was supposed to go see Desmon, but I was too tired. Jada woke me up and said she’d be back, so I didn’t have a car to go see him even if I wanted to. I reached for my cell phone and called Ginger’s house to tell her I was going to stop by tomorrow. When she answered, I could sense her attitude.

  “We got something to do tomorrow,” she said, smacking on something. “Desmon and me going to see my grandmother.”

  “Ginger, come on now, quit making excuses. I can tell by the sound of your voice that you’re upset with me, but I’m tired. I was up all night taking care of some business.”