How Can I Be Down? Read online

  I think they got the picture. I just wasn’t up for no games, but when the DJ kicked up the music, I couldn’t resist going to the dance floor with another chick.

  I danced next to Quincy and this other chick. I couldn’t help but notice Candi staring at me from across the room. When she saw me looking her way, she waved at me and I nodded my head. I danced through a few more songs, and after my clothes had me sweating like a dog, I called it quits. I took my jacket off and went back to the bar to order another drink since mine somehow disappeared from the table I sat it down on. The chick who I was dancing with followed me.

  “Whew, I am burning hot,” she said, fanning herself with her hand.

  “Yeah, me too. Would you like something to drink?”

  “Sure, if you don’t mind. A Long Island Iced Tea would be perfect.”

  I turned to the bartender and ordered our drinks. As I reached in my pocket for my money, this skinny light-skinned chick came over to stand close to me.

  “Hi,” she said, reaching into my pocket. I quickly grabbed her hand, thinking she was reaching for my money. “It’s my phone number,” she whispered. “Why don’t you call me later?”

  I let her hand go, smiled, and told her I would. Then I paid the bartender and gave the Long Island Iced Tea to the chick I was dancing with. She wasn’t that fine but the thickness in her hips and plump ass reminded me of Jada.

  “Here you go,” I said. “But, uh, I didn’t catch your name.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s Gloria.”

  “Gloria. I’m Kiley.”

  “Glad to meet you, Kiley. Are you here by yourself tonight or did you come with some friends?”

  “I’m here with my two brothers. How about yourself?”

  “I came with one of my girlfriends. Ain’t no telling where she’s at, though.”

  “I know. I don’t think I’ve seen my brotha since we stepped through the door, but one of my partnas was dancing next to us on the floor. As a matter of fact, he’s still up there,” I said, pointing to Quincy.

  “That’s your brother? He looks kind of mixed with something.”

  “He is. We actually stepbrothers,” I lied.

  “Oh, I see. So, do you come over here often?”

  “No, he doesn’t,” a voice said from behind. When I turned around it was Ginger.

  “What’s up?” I said, giving her a hug. “Ginger, this is Gloria. Gloria, this is Ginger, my son’s mother,” I said, knowing how much Ginger hated to be introduced as my “baby’s mama.”

  “Hello,” Gloria said. When Ginger rolled her eyes and looked back at me, Gloria told me she’d catch up with me later.

  “So why you up in here buying these hoes drinks, Kiley?”

  I took a sip. “’Cause it’s my money and I do what I want to do with my money.”

  She smiled. “I saw you up there on the floor dancing all nasty and shit. I started to come up there and push that bitch out of the way when you danced on the back of her ass like that, but I thought I’d let you enjoy yourself for one night.”

  “I wasn’t dancing on back of nobody.”

  “Trust me, you were. You were all like this.” Ginger moved up on me like she claimed I was dancing on Gloria. “That’s why she couldn’t walk away after y’all finished.”

  “You crazy, Ginger,” I said, laughing.

  “Yeah, crazy about you.”

  I bought Ginger a drink so she would cut me some slack for buying Gloria one. When Quincy finally made his way off the floor, I introduced him to Ginger since he’d never met her before.

  “Hello, Quincy,” Ginger said, shaking his hand.

  “So you’re Desmon’s mother.”

  “Yep, that would be me.”

  “Well, you and Kiley got y’all selves a fine young man. He is quite a character, and maaan, he can dance.”

  “I know. I have no idea where he gets it from,” Ginger said.

  “He gets it from me. Didn’t you see how well I just threw down on the floor?” I said.

  “Yeah, you threw down all right. I’m afraid if nobody else was around you’d have really been throwing down.”

  Quincy laughed and said he was going to the restroom and would be right back. The place was packed, but since it wasn’t that big I thought by now I would have seen Kareem. Getting a li’l worried, I told Ginger I’d be back and went to the bathroom to find Quincy. When I walked in he was looking in the mirror combing his hair back.

  “Say, have you seen Kareem?”

  “He outside.”

  “Outside? For what?”

  Quincy just stared. “Duh, in a car.”

  “Aw. Damn, he don’t waste no time, do he?”

  “I think he with this chick he met the last time we were here.”

  “Uhm, must be nice.”

  “So are you having a cool time?” Quincy asked.

  “Yeah, I am. Sistas looking pretty damn good these days.”

  “I know. It’s so damn hard to decide which ones you want to holla at. But I guess you ain’t having that problem with, uh, Ginger hanging around. I had no idea she was that fine.”

  “Now, you didn’t think I pulled Desmon off all by myself, did you?”

  “Naw, but I just didn’t expect her to look like that. You know, with you trippin’ all the time with Jada, Ginger’s looks just caught me completely off guard.”

  “Love, man, I was in love,” I said, patting Quincy on the back as we walked out the door. And as soon as we made a right coming out of the bathroom, Candi was standing there talking to this dude with a drink in her hand. Quincy looked at me and shook his head. “Why must you have all the luck?” He smiled, and then he leaned over and whispered something in this chick’s ear who was standing in front of us. She laughed and they went to the dance floor.

  There was no way for me to avoid Candi. I pushed through the crowd looking straight ahead, but before I could pass by her she grabbed my hand.

  “Say,” she said, then turned to the other dude. “I’ll get at you later, okay?” He nodded and she pulled me in close to her. “You’re afraid of me, aren’t you?” she said, whispering in my ear.

  “No, not at all. I just don’t like to be pressured.”

  “And I don’t like to be rejected.”

  “Well, when you stop pressuring me, I’ll stop rejecting you. How about that?” I said, looking down at her nipples that were giving me some attention.

  “How about you stop looking at my breasts and dance with me.” She took my hand and walked me to the dance floor as a slow song was playing.

  After getting a whiff of Candi’s sweet-smelling perfume and rubbing up and down the back of her silky dress, I was hooked. Our rhythm was perfect, and I closed my eyes thinking about how I was going to have the pleasure of taking this dress off her tonight. When I opened my eyes, I finally saw Kareem standing in line waiting to get some chicken wings. But when I spotted Ginger on the other side of the dance floor, letting this dude rub all on her ass, I was starting to get pissed. Candi must have noticed my sudden change because she leaned back and asked me what was wrong.

  “Nothing, my feet are starting to get tired.”

  “Would you like to sit down for a minute?”

  “Yeah, just for a minute, okay?”

  She backed away from me and held my hand as we walked off the floor. Most of the brothas had the look of envy in their eyes as I walked over to a table with Candi and sat down. I turned the chair slightly around so I could keep my eyes on Ginger, who seemed to be having herself a good time. Trying to stay focused on Candi before somebody snatched her up, I offered to buy her a drink. She said she’d already had enough to drink already.

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “I’m sure. What I’d really like is for you and me to get out of here and go somewhere private.”

  “We will. Just not right now. Give me a few more minutes,” I said, looking at Ginger every chance I got.

  “Kiley, are you here with another w
oman? You seem to be really preoccupied.”

  “Naw, I was just looking for Kareem or Quincy to tell them I’m getting ready to get out of here.”

  “I can see both of them from where I’m sitting.” She placed her hand on top of mine. “Listen, if you don’t want to do this with me, tell me. I’m kind of getting mixed signals from you. I felt our connection on the dance floor. Don’t play me off tonight, okay?”

  I looked into Candi’s dark brown round eyes and couldn’t turn her down. “Come on, let’s go.” We stood up and I went over to Kareem to tell him I was leaving. I tried to give him the keys to the Lexus, but he said him and Quincy already made plans to leave with these other chicks. I told him to be careful, and before I left with Candi, I looked around for Ginger. She was gone.

  Surprisingly, I was burning up inside, but wasn’t shit I could do. As soon as Candi and me stepped out the door, I saw Ginger standing in front of the building shivering with her arms folded.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said, looking at me.

  I grabbed Candi’s hand and we started walking to my car.

  Ginger followed us. “Kiley, don’t even play me like this.”

  “Ginger, you played yourself letting that muh-fucker rub all on your ass like that. Stop trippin’ now and go on home,” I said, continuing to walk to my car with Candi.

  “I didn’t play you. If you watched, you would have noticed me moving his hands off me several times.”

  I reached into my pocket for my keys and started to unlock the passenger’s side door for Candi to get in. Ginger quickly snatched the keys out of my hand and stood there holding them.

  “You’re not going to do this to me, Kiley,” she said, starting to tear up. “I will not let you disrespect me like this by leaving with her tonight.”

  “Ginger, give me my keys,” I said, holding my hand out.

  “No!” she yelled. “Not until she leaves.”

  “Well, she’s not leaving. I invited her to my place so give me my damn keys before we fucking freeze out here.” I looked at Candi standing there shivering with her arms folded. She had a coat on but I’m sure she was still feeling the cold as the gusty wind was blowing it open.

  Ginger continued to hold my keys in her hand. Instead of fighting with her, I told Candi I was going back inside to get my second set of keys from Kareem, who didn’t even have them.

  When Ginger heard me, she threw my keys down on the ground. “Here, take your damn keys! Go ahead, take her home and fuck her brains out if you want to! My feelings aren’t going to be hurt. I’m not fucking human. Just put me on the back burner for the rest of your damn life. As usual, I’ll be there for you to step on when she don’t treat you right.”

  I opened the door and told Candi to get in. When I backed the car up, and pulled off, I saw Ginger in my rearview mirror, walking up the street. When I got near the highway, I pulled the car over to the side and parked it.

  I looked at Candi. “Where did you park?”

  “Why?” she said, knowing where our conversation was headed.

  “Because I’m going to have to take a rain check.”

  She took a deep breath. “Come on, Kiley. Quit trippin’, all right? She’ll be okay, trust me. Happens to the best of us sometimes.”

  “I know, but, where are you parked?”

  Candi directed me to her car, and when she got out, she didn’t even say good-bye. I didn’t mean to play her, but seeing the mother of my child crying like that just did something to me. I drove around for a while looking for Ginger’s car. I didn’t see it, but since her apartment was only a few minutes away from the club, I drove to it.

  Her car was parked outside and she was still sitting inside leaning her head down on the steering wheel. When she saw my lights shining into her car, she lifted her head up and wiped her tears. I went over to the passenger’s side of her car to get in.

  “Why you out here crying like this?” I asked.

  “I’m just thinking about some things.”

  “Some things like what?”

  “Like why I can’t seem to get you out of my system no matter how hard I try. Especially when you’ve told me you don’t want to be with me.”

  “Ginger, it’s not just you. I don’t want to be with anybody. I’m a hurt man and I got too much on my mind right now. Besides, I thought you were in love with that married fool you were fucking.”

  “No, I wasn’t. I just used him to keep my mind off you. Thing is, you say the same thing year after year. Is there ever going to be a time when you don’t have too much on your plate?”

  “No, there won’t. Ginger, you know so little about me. I’ve never shared with you my reason for moving to St. Louis and how I pretty much make my living. I know that the less you know about me, the better. When Desmon gets older, and just maybe if I’m not around, I want you to tell him the good things about me, not the bad things. Things you can share with him that you’re proud of. Not the fact that I’m a murderer or I made my living as a drug dealer.”

  “Kiley, I knew that you sold drugs. I’m not that stupid.”

  “Naw, you don’t know. You think I’m your average standing on the corner drug dealer, but I’m not. The game I’m running is large. Larger than you will ever know. So large that I don’t even have to deal anymore unless I want to.”

  “So, aside from that, do you really kill people?”

  “I did what I had to do when my father was killed. And if anybody ever does anything to hurt the ones I love, there’s no doubt I will most certainly kill again.”

  Ginger looked surprised to hear me say that. She started biting her nails as if she was nervous. “Well, I guess that’s how we all feel. I can’t blame you for protecting your family.”

  “Good. And remember, what I just told you stays between you and me. I never want to hear you repeat any of this to Desmon.”

  “I won’t. You have my word.”

  “So are you cool now? Is it okay for me to go home?”

  “Only if you take me with you.”

  “Naw, can’t do that.”

  “Why? Why does where you live have to be such a secret? Besides, I already know anyway.”

  “Really? And how’s that?”

  She looked at me and smiled. “Because I’ve followed you home several times after you left my house to see where you lived.”

  “Say, you did, huh?”

  “Yep. I was curious to see how this chick you dumped me for, Jada, looked.”

  “So, did you get a chance to see her?”

  “Yeah, I saw you and her fat ass leaving from your house several times.” She laughed. “Me and my girl, Leslie, parked in front of your house many nights, keeping our eyes on things.”

  “Straight? Now, what if I tell you I wasn’t the only one being watched? What if I tell you what kind of car y’all were in, each time you came, and when you left?”

  “I’d say you’re a liar. There’s no way you knew I was there because I can be sneaky when I want to be.”

  “Ginger, trust me, I saw you. Next time don’t wear dark glasses to hide your identity, it makes you look too suspicious. And next time tell your girlfriend to park her Mazda a li’l bit farther down the street.”

  Ginger’s eyes widened. “But how did you see us?”

  “Cameras, baby. I saw you on the monitors every single time you came.”

  “Well didn’t your woman suspect anything?”

  “Naw, she thought y’all were scoping out Quincy, Donovan, or Kareem. She never knew you were there checking me out.”

  “Why did you keep letting me make a fool of myself then? You could have told me.”

  “I thought it was kind of funny. I enjoyed watching the two of you trying to be slick. Especially the time you hid behind her and y’all crept up to the living room window and looked in. Now, that was funny.”

  “Kiley, I’m so embarrassed.” Ginger opened her car door. “I’m gone. I can’t even look at you.”

&
nbsp; I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Don’t be ashamed. We all have some things to be embarrassed about. I’m just glad you opened up to me like I opened up to you. I don’t do that often, so consider yourself lucky.”

  She leaned in closer to me. “So are you coming inside or what?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you want me to fuck you.”

  “Yes, I do. I want you to give it to me like you never gave it to anybody.”

  “Whew, that could get pretty painful for you.”

  “I’m a big girl. Trust me, I can handle it.”

  Ginger and me wasted no time going inside giving each other a workout. And even though she was a “big girl,” as she claimed, she couldn’t handle it. One minute she was begging me to fuck her, and when I did, she was begging me to stop. One thing, though, her good-ass loving kept me going for the entire night. I couldn’t stop no matter how much she complained about being tired. And when it was finally all said and done, we lay naked in the middle of the living room floor cuddled in each other’s arms.

  I was knocked out on the living room floor when I heard my phone ringing in my pants pocket. I grabbed my pants from the floor and looked at my phone. It was a number I didn’t recognize, so I didn’t bother to answer. Instead, I went into the kitchen where Ginger was cooking us some breakfast.

  She turned around, looked at me, and rolled her eyes. “Why are you up already? I was trying to surprise you by cooking breakfast.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her on the neck. “Breakfast don’t excite me. However, a good morning slurpee like the ones you gave me last night would.”

  “Oooo, you so nasty. I never knew you could be so blunt.”

  “Okay, then a nice, slow, wet, up and down, round and round, feel of your lips would be the best surprise you could give me this morning.”

  Ginger turned around, placed her hands behind my neck, pulling my lips to hers. She slowly licked her tongue around my lips and then went deep inside, rolling her tongue around in my mouth. “There,” she said, wiping my wet lips. “How was that for a morning surprise?”