How Can I Be Down? Read online

  “I ain’t gon’ be too many of your bitches, Kareem,” Jada spat.

  I sighed. “Kareem, let it go. Just go to the store and hurry back.”

  “I will, but make sure this bitch out of here when I get back.”

  “Fuck you, you silly-ass—”

  I turned and snapped at Jada. “Shut up and get your things and go. I didn’t ask you to come over here and disrespect my family. At least have some respect for my son.” I turned to Kareem again. “Go. Desmon don’t need to be around all this mess.”

  Kareem left, mumbling something underneath his breath. I walked around the room, gathering my things to take a shower.

  “Do you think you can help me take some of this stuff to my car?” Jada asked with an attitude.

  “No, I don’t think I can. I packed most of it with one hand, so helping you take it to your car is out of the question.”

  I went to the doorway and yelled for Quincy. He opened his bedroom door and looked down the hallway at me. “Would you come help Jada take her things to her car?”

  “I guess,” he said, walking down the hallway. When he picked up a few bags off the floor, I went into the bathroom and closed the door.

  I stayed in the shower for as long as I could. Then I shaved, put on my Gucci jogging suit, and patted my face with some aftershave. When it sounded like the coast was clear, I came out of the bathroom. Jada was sitting in the chair reading a magazine with her feet propped up on the bed.

  She lowered the magazine so she could see me. “Where are you getting ready to go?”

  I took my gun from underneath my pillow and slid it down inside my pants. Then I reached for my sling and put it on my arm since it was still bothering me. “Are you ready to go? Because I’m getting ready to leave.”

  “I asked where you were going, Kiley.”

  I ignored her and put my cell phone in my pocket. “Let’s go.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’re leaving. And I got some business to take care of.”

  Jada laid the magazine on the floor, closed the door, and came over close to me. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was wrong for sleeping with your friend, but you left me no choice.”

  I lightly pushed her over to the side and opened the door. “Apology accepted. Now, let’s go.”

  She plopped down on the bed and rubbed her hair back with her hands. “Kiley, I don’t want to leave like this. But if you tell me there’s somebody else, I guess I have no choice.”

  I let out a sigh. “Jada, there’s no one else. This has nothing to do with anyone else; it’s about you and me. You played me, baby. I loved you more than anything in the world, did everything for you, and you played me like a damn fool.”

  “Okay, so we both messed up. But is this worth losing our twelve-year relationship over? Can we at least be friends?”

  “With friends like you, who needs enemies? Let’s just walk away from this with what li’l respect we have left for each other. Now, I got a run to make, so you gotta jet.” I held the door open but she still didn’t budge.

  I left out of the room and Jada followed. I stood in the doorway to Quincy’s room and looked at him leaning back in a leather chair listening to some music with a headset on. His eyes were closed and the music was so loud he couldn’t hear me. I reached for the volume knob and turned it up. He quickly opened his eyes and took the headset off his ears. “Damn, brotha, what you trying to do? Bust my damn eardrum or something?”

  “Naw, playa. Just making sure it was loud enough for you. Say, I’m going to go see about my car. Tell Kareem and Desmon I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “Will do. I got a few runs to make myself, but if I leave before they get back I’ll leave them a note.”

  Jada poked her head in Quincy’s door. “Thanks for helping me with my things, Quincy.”

  “Aw, no problem, Jada. Glad to be of assistance.” Quincy winked.

  “Tell Kareem if he needs me to hit me on my phone,” I said.

  Quincy put the headset back on and continued listening to music.

  Jada followed me down the stairs. I opened the back door, turned the lock, and closed it behind her as she walked out. Whoever’s car she was driving was parked outside the gate in back of the house. How quickly she had gotten a car kinda puzzled me, but I wasn’t prying. She could have sold or pawned the expensive things that Donovan took to her the other day to buy a car. Really not giving a fuck, I opened the garage door so I could leave. She was damn near walking on the back of my shoes trying to work my nerves. When I tried to open the car door, she slammed it back and stood in front of it with her arms folded.

  “When are you going to listen to anything that I’ve said to you?”

  “I have listened. There’s nothing else to talk about, so move.”

  She reached up and placed her hand on my face. “Baby, please don’t do this to us. We’ve come such a long way together and I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.” A tear rolled down her face.

  “You’ll soon find out, Jada. Go back to L.A. According to you, you hate living in St. Louis. Go back to your whack-ass family and your jealous, conniving-ass friends. You’ll fit right back in.” I tried to push her over to the side but she still wouldn’t move. “Come on now, Jada. Quit playing games so I can go.”

  “Damn it! This ain’t no game. I love you,” she cried. “I don’t want you with anybody else. Would you please forgive me? I promise you things will get better. No more lies, and now that everything’s out in the open, nothing can come between us.”

  Jada leaned against me and kissed me on the lips. Feeling a li’l sympathy for her, foolishly, I wrapped my arm around her waist and sucked her lips into mine. As I felt our connection, I eased my hand down over her plump ass and squeezed it with my hand. And after my dick hardened from the thought of fucking her, I pushed her back against the garage wall, pressing my hardness against her. I dropped my head, kissing her on the neck, feeling guilty about wanting her so much.

  She lifted my face up and stared me in the eyes. “I’m at the Radisson on Lindbergh. Come there tonight. I’ll make it up to you.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to fight back my feelings for her. “We’ll see.” I backed away from her. “Maybe, all right?”

  She placed her lips on mine again, then backed away. “I need a definite answer. I know more than anybody how you say you’ll do one thing but you do another. Will you please come so we can talk sensibly about this?”

  “Yeah, Jada. I’ll be there by seven o’clock tonight. I need to go see about my car right now, though, okay?”

  She smiled and wiped another tear from her face. “I’ll let you get going, but again, I’m sorry for hurting you. I never intended for things to go this far.”

  “Me either.” I opened the car door and got in. I watched Jada through my rearview mirror as she got in her car and drove off.

  I could barely concentrate on the drive to Al’s place. Fucking Jada was heavy on my mind, and how stupid I was for telling her I would see her tonight. I knew it would be a big mistake, but I just wasn’t strong enough to kick her to the curb like I thought I could. She was definitely, without a doubt, my weakness. And she knew it. She knew no matter what she did to me, I would always run back to her. Why? I couldn’t even figure it out my damn self. This wasn’t love; it was stupid love. And the worst of it was this love was going to interfere with Kareem’s and my brothaship. He’d probably disown me if I ever got back with Jada. He would somehow feel I chose her over him, and if I even thought about explaining it to him how I really felt, he wouldn’t understand.

  By the time I left Al’s place with my new, shiny, fixed-up Lexus, it was almost two in the afternoon. Ginger had been calling me like crazy, asking me to bring Desmon home, and I told her that after we came from the movies, I would drop him off. I stopped by Macy’s and picked him up a new outfit, and then called Kareem to tell him I was on my way home. He said he’d given Desmon a bath and br
agged about how delicious the breakfast he cooked was. When I told him I was taking Desmon to the movies, he said since Quincy was gone he’d tag along to go holla at the ladies.

  Keeping close tabs on the time, I found myself rushing so I could get to Jada by seven. When I pulled up in the garage, I grabbed the Macy’s bag and ran up the steps to the back door. Kareem was standing in the living room on the phone, smiling.

  “Hold on, Candi, here he is.”

  I shook my head and whispered, “Tell her I’m not here.”

  “Yeah, hold on.” He laughed and gave the phone to me.

  I handed him the bag and pushed his shoulder. Then I took the phone. “What’s up?”

  “I knew you were going to play me last night. What does a sista have to do to get a little of your time?”

  “Be patient, that’s all.”

  “Patient? I’ve been patient long enough. I know you’re going to the movies with Kareem, can I tag along?”

  “Naw, I got my son with me today. Listen, I’ll call you when I get back, all right?”

  “Kiley, look, if you want me to back off, then I will. Just say the word. Don’t lead me on telling me you’ll call me and you’ll see me soon when you have no intentions on doing so.”

  “I said I’ll call you later, Candi.”

  “Sure. But if you don’t—”

  “If I don’t, I just don’t,” I said, frowning.

  Candi took a deep breath and hung up.

  I put the phone down and went upstairs to change Desmon’s clothes. He was jumping up and down on Kareem’s bed with his new dark blue and white velvet sweat suit on. Kareem had already changed his clothes for me. Since he didn’t have his shoes on, I grabbed them off Kareem’s dresser and sat down on the bed. Kareem was in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

  “Come on, Desmon,” I said, pulling him down next to me. “Let me put your shoes on.”

  He stopped jumping and sat on the bed next to me. Kareem came out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth mumbling something.

  “What? I can’t understand you with that thing in your mouth.”

  He went back into the bathroom and rinsed his mouth. He came back out wiping his hands with a towel. “I said I’m trying to make sure my breath is fresh for the ladies.” He came over by the bed and blew his breath on me. “Am I cool?”

  I leaned back and so did Desmon. “Is he cool, Desmon? Did you smell anything?”

  Desmon nodded. “Yes.” He smiled.

  “Did it smell nasty?” Kareem asked.

  “No, it smell like toothpaste.”

  Kareem held his hand out and Desmon gave him five. Then they did a hand jive Kareem must have taught him to do. “There you go, playa. Keep your breath fresh like your uncle and you’ll have all the women.”

  Desmon grinned and I continued putting on his tennis shoes. Kareem had on his suede black pants with an off-white ribbed sweater, and his black hip-length suede black jacket with white fur around the collar. He covered his eyes with his round, lightly tinted glasses and checked himself out in the mirror.

  “Damn I look good.” He turned around and looked at me. “Don’t I?”

  “Nigga, you look a’ight but we just going to the movies. You dressed like we going to the club or something.”

  “Man, to show you how outdated your ass is, it’s more women at the mall than there is at the club. And the best thing about it is that you get a chance to mingle with a diversity of women at the mall. Not just one certain kind.”

  “Whatever, man, let’s just go.”

  I picked Desmon up off the bed and put him on the floor. Kareem sprayed on some cologne and gave the mirror one last look before we left.

  The movie we wanted to see didn’t start for another hour so we walked around the mall checking out the latest fashions and the women. Kareem was on cloud nine with the ladies staring at us and was winking at everything that walked by. When he finally saw this shapely brown-skinned sista with fresh-looking twisties and hazelnut eyes like his, he couldn’t resist. We stood there talking to her and her girlfriend for about ten minutes. I was trying to keep my eyes on Desmon, so it was hard for Erica to keep me interested. And after Alexis declined Kareem’s offer to watch the movie with us and gave him her phone number, we jetted.

  By the time we made it back to the movie theatre, Kareem racked up numerous phone numbers. I laughed as we stood in line waiting to get Desmon some popcorn, soda, and candy.

  Kareem placed his lips on the papers with the phone numbers, folded them in half, and put them in his pocket. “One of these ladies is going to have an adventurous night tonight.”

  “With who, you?”

  “Yeah, with me, fool. I just have to decide which one.”

  “Damn, how lucky she must be.” I smiled.

  “Don’t hate, playa. You could be preparing yourself for a night of adventure as well if you’d stop acting all stuck-up like you too good for a sista. They checking you out and you walking by like you gay or something.”

  “I came to the mall to watch a movie with my son. I had no intentions on picking up women.”

  “And you think I did.”

  “Hell, yeah, you did. Dressing like that, spraying on expensive cologne, and pimping through this muh-fucker like you’re God’s gift to women, you damn right you did.”

  “Listen, I can’t help it if a nigga looking this good. The ladies just can’t control themselves when they see me. So what’s wrong with me offering them my services?”

  “Services, huh?”

  “Yeah, services. Just like I’m getting ready to serve that young lady behind you who keep leaning over to the side, trying to check me out.”

  I turned around and when I looked at her, she smiled. I shook my head as she started coming our way.

  “Excuse me. Hi. My name is Toni,” she said, shaking Kareem’s hand. “My girlfriend over there”—she pointed to her friend who waved at us when we looked—“we were wondering if you fellas wouldn’t mind showing us where we might find a good restaurant at around here. See, we’re not from here. We’re from Atlanta and I was hoping that after the movies we could go somewhere and get a bite to eat.”

  “We’d love to show you ladies around. Ain’t that right, Kiley?” He nudged me.

  “Toni, I really don’t have time. Maybe Kareem . . .”

  Kareem looked at me and rolled his eyes. “My brother is entertaining his son for the day so why don’t . . .” He put his arm around Toni’s neck and walked off running his game.

  After I got Desmon’s snacks, we headed to the theatre. Kareem and the two ladies followed closely behind us. When we sat down in the theatre, he sat in between them and Desmon sat next to me. There was an empty seat between one of the chicks and me so I placed our coats there.

  Kareem kept the ladies giggling throughout the entire movie. When we left, I agreed to meet them at their hotel later on in the week, and Kareem exchanged phone numbers. As we headed back to the car, I looked at my watch and noticed it was almost seven o’clock. Still anticipating on going to see Jada, I started to rush. And as soon as I drove off the parking lot, Jada was ringing my cell phone. I had to answer. I at least wanted to let her know I was still coming.

  “Hello,” I said, intending to keep our conversation short so Kareem wouldn’t know it was her.

  “I really thought you would be here by now. What’s taking you so long?”

  “I’m just now leaving the movies with Desmon. I’m getting ready to drop him off then I’ll be there.”

  “How long do you think that’ll be? I mean, I hope you don’t stay long at his house.”

  “It shouldn’t be that long. Maybe another hour or so.”

  “Kiley, you said seven o’clock. I’ve been—”

  I quickly hung up because Kareem was listening in on every bit of my conversation. “Shit! This phone ain’t worth a damn.”

  “I know, mine be doing the same thing, especially when I’m trying to hook
up some booty or something. Seems like the son of a bitch be knowing the plan and cut my ass off right when I’m waiting for an answer.” We both laughed. “So,” he said, looking at me. “Have you had any Candi lately?”

  “I don’t eat candy. Bad for your teeth.”

  “Nigga, don’t play. Was that her you were talking to?”

  “Naw, that was uh, this . . . this chick I met at Al’s shop today.”

  “Straight. What’s her name?”

  “Denise.”

  “Denise? Well, that’s cool. Real proud of you for finally moving on and leaving that devil in a fat dress behind.”

  “Man, don’t even be like that. You act like Jada some oversized, unattractive, hateful woman and she’s really not.”

  “Oversized and unattractive? No. Hateful? You damn right she is. Any time she sleeps with your partner, fucks your car up, cuts your face, fractures your wrist, and disrespects your family, she’s definitely hateful. Not only that, she’s a backstabbing bitch. Just thinking about her just gives my ass the chills.”

  I just kept my mouth shut.

  Kareem looked over at me while I was in deep thought, “Yo, Buckwheat? What’s on your mind?”

  “Nothing. And who in the hell are you calling Buckwheat?”

  “You, nigga, that’s who.”

  “What in the hell does Buckwheat and me have in common?”

  “Nothing. I just felt like saying it. Just like I feel like calling you a wuss. Ladies throwing all kinds of pussy at you and you don’t even want to catch it. Speaking straight from my heart.” Kareem placed his hand on his chest. “I’d say being tied up with Jada so long, you forgot how to lay it on a sista the right way.”

  I snickered. “And I’d say you’re for damn sure wrong. It doesn’t take sleeping with several women to learn how to stroke them better. Practicing and experiencing with one woman can teach you everything you need to know, especially if she let you have your way with her.”

  “I disagree. But you always think big brother knows best, so whatever. And I truly hope you don’t mess up the Abrams reputation for laying ’em and laying ’em well.” He reached over and backhanded me on my chest.